Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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