Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
