Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
