i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
