I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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