IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
