We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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