Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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