If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
