We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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