Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
