i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
