What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
