i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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