I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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