So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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