Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You need Xanax blowdarts
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
