Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
