No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Mom said you looked used
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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