Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You made out with two different species that night
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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