u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
