Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
