I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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