What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
