Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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