woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
