I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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