your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
