So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
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