32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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