I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
