she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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