I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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