there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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