Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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