they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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