DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
