like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
