i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I need water and some morals
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
