first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
