Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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