what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
