spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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