Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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