Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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