But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Never joke about your clitoris.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
