I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
