The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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