Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
