If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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