i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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