Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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