Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.