Texts From Last Night

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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Without porn, I would have few hobbies.

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  (308): Without porn, I would have few hobbies. http://tfl.nu/e9r7
  Replies (5) Good night (907) Bad night (1656)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  do you believe in love at first sight?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  awwwwww =)

  (513): View more from Ohio

  yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!

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  (513): do you believe in love at first sight? (1-513): awwwwww =) (513): yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks! http://tfl.nu/zebv
  Replies (19) Good night (1245) Bad night (3866)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.

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  (219): Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills. http://tfl.nu/rh2h
  Replies (5) Good night (2757) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.

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  (757): Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi. http://tfl.nu/br2l
  Replies (2) Good night (2144) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.

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  (423): It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin. http://tfl.nu/eslz
  Replies (5) Good night (2557) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.

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  (802): He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass. http://tfl.nu/9wu9
  Replies (23) Good night (2682) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place

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  (314): Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place http://tfl.nu/v09l
  Replies (1) Good night (1015) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.

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  (816): They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/cb9a
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp

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  (954): I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp http://tfl.nu/qcef
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.

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  (818): You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it. http://tfl.nu/2dbt
  Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

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  (616): 2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll. (616): 2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll. http://tfl.nu/3aiz
  Replies (6) Good night (1205) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.

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  (386): correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart. http://tfl.nu/zuch
  Replies (4) Good night (653) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a cash register on top of my car?

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  (215): Why is there a cash register on top of my car? http://tfl.nu/nfm6
  Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"

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  (941): he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!" http://tfl.nu/kymt
  Replies (1) Good night (787) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.

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  (636): I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious. http://tfl.nu/gqc7
  Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (200)

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