The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...