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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook

  (301): View more from Maryland

  it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (315): View more from New York

  That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  Why haven't you proposed already?

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• (716): View more from New York

  My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...

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