So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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