OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
my being single is dangerous.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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