we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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