I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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