I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
